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Draco: You think my name's funny, do you? I don't need to ask for yours. Red hair and a hand-me-down robe. You must be a Weasley. Seamus: I'll do the countercurse.
Neville: No, that's all I need. You to set my bloody kneecaps on fire.
Ron: That was bloody brilliant!
McGonagall: Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley.
Harry: Can we find all this in London?
Hagrid: If you know where to go...
Hagrid: Hah, there's the little devil! Ron: Mental, that one, I'm tellin' ya. Ollivander: We do not speak his name. Hermione: I've read about it in "Hogwarts, a History".
Fat Lady: Password?
Percy: Caput Draconis.
Seamus: If anyone cares to notice, my eyebrows have completely grown back! Hagrid: Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Ron: Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow.
Harry: I never get mail. Hagrid: Got somethin' for ye. 'Fraid I might've sat on it at some point, but I imagine it'll taste fine just the same. Hermione: Didn't you see what it was standing on?
Ron: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads!
McGonagall: Five points will be awarded to each of you. For sheer dumb luck.
Hermione: That's totally barbaric!
Ron: That's wizard's chess.
Snape: Maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to not pay attention. Voldemort: There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it. Wood: I felt the same way before my first game.
Harry: What happened?
Wood: Ah, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in hospital a week later.
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